I don’t need to
tell anyone in this country how hard it is to communicate with 50% of
the people you meet. I have people in my family who voted Trump. And
since that statement pretty much means that I didn’t, you can only
image how it’s been. We think the other is either misinformed, stupid
or trying to destroy the country. Am I right? Both sides see the
other as the enemy. I will not spout off my beliefs because it
doesn’t matter. I don’t want to lose half of you right now. And the
half I don’t lose, I don’t want to add to your flames. The truth is
it’s hard to have any compassion for either side.
These last few
years no one seems to be listening, no one seems to want to listen.
No one is talking and coming to middle ground, rather, everyone seems
to raise their voices. Nothing gets done.
As a point of
reference here, I work in the service industry during the
administrations of George W. Bush, Barrack Obama, Donald Trump and
Joe Biden. I can tell you that the tips were higher, generally
speaking, during the democratic years. Incidentally, having to hold
my tongue happened the most during the Trump years. Too many people
thought that I was a good sounding board for all sorts of stupid
shit, after all, if I was rude, I would not get a tip. My whole frame
of political culture in America is as a waiter, and there is no
refuting that. I still believe that servers can tell you the health
of the country with a great amount of precision.
Leaving that
behind, it’s taken me well over a year to feel okay about the society
in which we live, at least on a micro level. I’m better able to
negotiate the people and places in my neighborhood. I now longer
dread the aging boomer on the street nor the white guy in his Trump
bumper stickered pickup truck. I just don’t make eye contact. On a
macro level, I’ve become increasingly concerned about the health of
the country in general. This conservative backlash is very
reminiscent of the rise of fascism, or governments like the Taliban.
Plus, for me, I see really obvious hypocrisy in it. I say that only
because of one test which I give my ultra conservative righties. When
the subject of abortion comes and they are violently, vehemently
opposed to it, I ask: “Where do you fall on the death penalty?”
It doesn’t matter what I believe, but I ask this: why are so many
pro-lifers also pro death penalty?
What I feel like
really needs to happen is something I feel like needs to happen
inside of me, inside of my thoughts. I mean, I feel like I’m a
reasonable person. I’m a reasonably intelligent person. I know that I
have many advantages over most people. I know when I leave my house
nothing bad will happen to me. I think I am a complex person who has
had great life experiences that have led me to think the thoughts and
feel the feelings that I have. Therefore, why wouldn’t I think the
exact same thing about everyone else on Earth? I should, and I want
to.
When it comes to
compassion, it has many faces. I think when someone gets angrily
discounted in any way, it makes it easier to strike back. Think about
it, when you have a thought or a feeling, and someone discounts that
thought or feeling, how do you feel? I tend to think: fuck you, and I
turn my back. Not the best way of dealing with it.
I guess at this
stage of my life, and this stage of American life, I’m starting to
think about compassion as a way of seeing the world. I can’t help
think about how we treat each other and polarization or tribalism
that seems to be emerging. When I think about the people in my
neighborhood, or in the greater part of the region where I live, we
have so much more in common than not. What would happen if we treated
each other with compassion and respect other than asking someone how
they voted?